#doesn't feel like it but it was a decade ago

[alchemistc]

Lou's interview is making me feel things, goddamnit.

"I gave that up, to fly again."

Howie's expression wavers. Falters. They're all a bunch of morose motherfuckers, today, and Tommy has been listening to the new 118 laughingly, tearfully trade stories for the last hour or so.

He wants to take it all back.

He'd never give up what Bobby gave him, but -

He missed all of this. Bobby's leadership, Bobby's love, Bobby's cooking and that way he had of turning the horrible shit into a lesson, the great shit into a reminder.

It's not the first time he's heard about the batshit insane shit the 118 has dealt with in the last decade and thought to himself "I wish I'd been there."

It's just the first time he's felt so stripped bare he can't hold the words back anymore.

It's just Tommy, Hen, and Howie, at the moment. Howie's finally sobering up. Tommy can still feel the burn of Evan's hand holding his under the table, even though he went to grab drinks ten minutes ago. Hen looks at him and he tries desperately not to read her expression as pitying.

"He believed in us," Tommy continues, like the words aren't clawing their way out from some deep void inside of him, tearing and scraping on their way out. "No one ever..."

Behind her lenses, Hen's eyes are far from dry. Chimney looks like he wants to punch something again.

"He'd be glad you're here now." Hen's voice is strong, sturdy, like she believes what she's saying, and Tommy - "Buck or no Buck, you were always a part of his team."

Team and family were the same thing to Bobby, and Tommy doesn't know how to reconcile the thought that Bobby might have considered him family, in some small way. He's known how much Bobby means to these people since before that phone call, since before he'd ever set eyes on Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley and had his life turned upside down. There was always a little bit of awe, a little bit of reverence, for the man who somehow managed to keep the 118 alive, around the LAFD. And Tommy has held that connection, tenuous as it was, close to his chest all these years.

He wishes he'd kept in touch. Made an effort. Done more than thank Bobby for the push on his way out the door.

He'd just gotten so wrapped up in trying to be the version of Tommy that Bobby saw, the version of Tommy Bobby could be proud of.

He blinks at the weight against his side, catches half of Evan's weight against his shoulder and presses back just to remind Evan he's solid. They're all quiet for a long, long moment.

Tommy shoots a glance around the table, lifts an elbow into Evan's ribcage, smiles even though it hurts, a little.

"Has anyone ever told you about how Bobby and Athena met?"

Chimney's eyes widen, surprised Tommy was the one to bring it up, and the guffaw rips from his chest before he can stop it. Evan's eyes gleam with interest. Tommy leans in to tell the tale.

[magical-girl-coral]

..................

bad kids Haunt Me with wrong kids..............

pls

*sighs*

*cracks knuckles*

Sometimes, when all they work they've done starts to feel for naught, when the days gets too loud and the nights too empty, Aelwyn gets high on her old stash in the old bedrooms at Mordred manor on the twin bed she promised to share with her sister one day. The whole place had become deserted after they've returned from the nightmare king forest with bodies to bury and shame rotten in their bones. Sandra Lynn has died in a suicide mission for their quest, Jawbone overdosed years ago and Lydia's heart gave out five months after the funerals. All that remained were the pictures on the walls and the coats they could never put away. And so Aelwyn puffs, sniffs and shoots anything into her system that could make her forget her pains and her sorrows. Most times it works. She is always too high and numb and floaty to feel anything, let alone the burdens she's been carrying for a decade now. The buzzing in her ears quiets out the usual echoes in her head and the burning sensation in her body makes her believe she's not cold anymore. Tonight is not one of those nights. The concerned ghost of Adaine sitting on the chair next to her desk says enough as it is. She never says anything. Never moves. Never blinks. Never breathes. Only stares holes into the patches and bottles that were thrown across the room, forcing Aelwyn to feel the shame she's been burying in her guts. Like always, Aelwyn screams at the ghost. Throws things in her direction. Demands answers out of her she can't give. Begs for forgiveness she doesn't understand. Just waiting for her sister to say anything. As usual, Adaine doesn't reply. And so Aelwyn takes another hit of whatever she has in hand, looks back, and sees that her darling sister is gone for another night. A part of Aelwyn feels relieved. The rest of her continues to drink.

[oblivionbladetd]

Learning from Lorch (and hazcrit): Very Reasonable Demands.

Seeing as hazcrit is doing to Sai exactly what Sai pointed out that they are doing to vivzie, I feel now is a good time for this post. For what is Hazcrit other than SUcrit that was reheated in the desk microwave? The desk microwave of none other than Lily Orchard, of course! Memes aside, the SU is garbage vid was a prized by the SUcrit community and like... that says a lot more than it should.

Now, to preface my ensuing info dump, one question I ask myself in the myriad of questions I use to formulate my critique is, "How could I have done this better?" Though not as what I am currently. I am an independent hobbyist writer with no oversight, no team to manage, no deadlines, the full script of Steven Universe, nearly a decade of knowledge about every shortcoming and controversy both intentionally and not, and most of all no financial or creative incentives to reach as many people as humanly possible. Could I make a better Steven Universe special for me with all that in my pocket? Short answer: yeh. Long answer: Of fucking course I could, stupid. Rebecca and vivzie had few to none of these benefits. In fact, they had about the opposite in most ways. I'll admit that they are still 6/10 shows because this is by far from the only metric, but what many of the crits seem to think are the most important.

Now, I could bring up the infamous lines of SU is garbage where Lily calls the show both not gay enough and too gay, but I feel like pointing that out has been both been done better by others, and is Lazy since even in Lily's own words those statements are from an embittered lily a decade ago... so I brought this!

Lightly edited, but I am not watching the video to get the unedited one. Either way on the surface, this shit doesn't seem to be a tall ask, but you know your boy will break it down clean how it really is, step by step.

1. Must be a healthy relationship. Doesn't sound like a tall ask at all, right? Let's just hope that the story isn't about say, I dunno, working on a relationship at all. Or in a setting where maintaining a healthy relationship might be hard.... I'd bring up that not every person has the same definition of healthy, but there's a lot of these to chew through.

2. Needs to be human/human adjacent. Well, there goes any story about being loved for who you are and not what you look like, right out with the bathwater. Also what about two monsters and/or aliens being gay? I know that's not the point,but that's why we word carefully.

3. Relationships must be present before finale. Doable.... unless you are doing something where them meeting is far more fun and tumultuous than when they get steady. So, like... many sitcoms, romcoms, and a lot of romance in general. Like this is one of the most doable, but the amount you can miss out on is quite humbling.

4.No burying. I know she means the trope bury your gays, but I will point out that this clobbers tragedy with a steel chair.

5. MUST be main characters. So, no solo adventures. Honestly, this isn't the worst either, but I do love the implication that side characters just do not count anymore. Nobody likes characters that don't have top billing anyway, I'm sure.

6. No pussyfooting. I see what she means, but as somebody that can see past my own nose, this catches stories about closeted gays or any sexual awakening stories in the crossfire easy.

7. It's hard to define, but I'm going to interpret that any lore reasoning, positive or negative, affecting the character's relationship is bad. Which... oof to any high fantasy.

It's not fucking impossible, but just look at what is left on the table after this!

Now, if you are like Lily, a hobbyist vignette writer. It's not that hard. Incredibly doable. Easy work even!... but we now have to add conditions.

Take whatever vignette you cooked up. And now it needs to be a full product. 300+ page book, 26 episode show, respectability sized graphic novel, whatever poison you desire. I still think it could be done, but if you put a gun to my head, my confidence in anything I just planned sunk like a tungsten cube through air.

So let's do that metaphorically! That is how the industry works, after all. You gotta sell this idea to a guy whose only God is the almighty dollar. Unshakable if you can't convince them that publishing your crap is worth the investment. Like shit it ain't even have to be gay anymore. Knock the rep off, and that's still a BIG ask. I wouldn't say it just isn't possible. I just know anything I came up with initially certainly isn't something I'd pay for.

This is a statement I tend to blanket over the haz and SU crit when I see it. More often than not, they are asking for things that only sound reasonable in hindsight, or if it was an independent production that answers to no-one, or it just wasn't your speed and that's somehow not your problem... Nothing less than the vision of perfection that's specifically in my head? Right?

That's why I tend to believe Sai when she calls it misogyny. I've seen male creators do worse to DEAFENING silence. Was SU perfect? Obviously not. Was it good enough to communicate some heavy stuff to its audience of 14-17 year Olds? You betcha. Is Hazbin that great? Not incredible, but I'd argue it's better than 80% of adult animation currently being made.

But hey, I'm pretty sure there's a term for tying a less than perfect woman to a poll and burning them.

[fuckyeahelenapaparizou]

Helena Paparizou in Melodifestivalen 2014

Heat 1 [x]

Andra Chansen - Round 1 [x]

Andra Chansen - Duels [x]

Final [x]

[sydney-carton-of-sour-milk]

For this week's post, I have a very special announcement:

As of the minute of my posting this,

this blog

is officially

A DECADE OLD!

To mark the occasion, I've gone back to my old sketchbook and (at long last!) made a scan of the first drawing I ever posted here...

...which I've used as reference for a redraw🥹

I've been through a lot in the last decade (as you can imagine), and, consequently, the nature of my love for and appreciation of the novel has changed so much through those years; with each subsequent time I've read it, A Tale of Two Cities has meant a different thing to me and held a unique place in my soul, tailored to its shape at that point in time.

That's part of why it has been such an immense, immeasurable joy to have this blog as a constant, a place for me to capture those shapes (and their changing over the years) by providing the good people of Tumblr's A Tale of Two Cities fandom with posts of all varieties. What a wonderful and rewarding place it has been for finding community in which we can all share our collective appreciation for this incredible novel. So if you're reading this, thank you! And I hope this blog has been able to provide for you anything like what it has for me!

Now this post is done, why don't we call a health, dear reader; why don’t we give our toast?

Many more posts - and years - to come, then!

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

I am?

These two words, this simple little question, very nearly came out of Susannah's mouth before she stopped herself, reminding herself of Philippe's sincere nature. This was a man who would never lie to her, least of all about her appearance, and so she allowed herself to be flattered in that moment, cheeks turning a soft pink as she replied, "Th-Thank you, Philippe. You..y-you look v-very handsome!"

Not about to let him linger out on her front porch all night, she was quick to sweep him inside and into her little kitchen, where she had everything laid out, ready and waiting for them. She was also pleasantly surprised by the strawberry-creme bonbons he'd procured for them; they would make a wonderful dessert to cap off tonight's dinner.

"I-I...I have something for you too!"

Before they sat down to their meal (she would've liked to have just dug in, but perhaps giving him this gift would mitigate some of the butterflies in her stomach and let her actually enjoy dinner), Susannah hustled out of the room, only to then return with a small box-not ornately wrapped or even particularly eye-catching...unlike what was inside.

It was a hand-knitted sweater, made in a beautiful sky-blue yarn, laced with delicate honeycomb and blackberry patterns, very similar to the one Wilhelmina Pace knitted for her future husband many years ago (the only difference being was that the one she made was a soft buttercup yellow; Susannah had it tucked away in the cedar chest upstairs, along with many other heirlooms). It would be plenty warm to wear, once the cold snap eventually settled in.

"I-It's an Aran sweater," she explained shyly, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched him open it, on pins and needles, waiting for his reaction, wondering nervously all the while: Will he like it?

[creaturefeaster]

yo maybe im just having a bad morning but im a hair's width away from leaving this site man it's getting so fucking annoying & bloated with features i could not give less of a fuck about

[boymounter]

clothes shopping as a fat person is such a hostile environ. i need to go in there with a machete

[lumienn]

Me when I did 10 things to make my day better but came across 1 (one) thing that ruined it

[luxceon]

well. how are we feeling past/current AH fans?

[scatteredshowersposts]

1. Hasta la Raiz - Natalia Lafourcade

Pienso que cada instante sobrevivido al caminar Y cada segundo de incertidumbre Cada momento de no saber Son la clave exacta de este tejido Que ando cargando bajo la piel Así te protejo Aquí sigues dentro (I think that every moment I survive this walk And every second of uncertainty Every moment of not knowing Are the exact key to this woven fabric That I carry below my skin That's how I protect you You're still here inside)

2. Habbaitak Be El Saif - Fairuz حب��تك بالصيف حبيتك بالشتي نطرتك بالصيف نطرتك بالشتي وعيونك الصيف وعيوني الشتي ملقانا يا حبيبي (I loved you in summer, I loved you in winter, I waited for you in summer, I waited for you in winter, Your eyes in summer, my eyes in winter, We did not meet my love)

3. No Voy a Decir Que No - Ximena Sariñana Pero si cruzas mi camino Con toda la intención Ignorando la experiencia No voy a decir que no (But if you cross my path With intent Ignoring experience I won't say no)

4. Say the Truth and Run - Meryem Aboulela

Throw out the truth and Face it widely Get your facts straight Think it widely Break the walls

5. James Joint - Rihanna How you live and love like 'fuck rules'? Don't care why just know I love you.

6. Te Regalo - Carla Morrison

Déjame quedarme aquí Déjame besarte ahí Donde guardas tus secretos Los más oscuros y los más bellos Let me stay here Let me kiss you there Where you keep your secrets The darkest, and the most beautiful

7. Victory - Janelle Monae

Oh, I'll keep singing songs until the pain goes If loving you means fighting till the end Then I'll fight harder, baby, just to win And if tomorrow shall come to me I'll count your every kiss as a victory

8. It's a good day (to fight the system) - Shungudzo The birds are in the trees They're singin' me a melody La-la-la-la, fuck the police

[good-to-drive]

whyyyyy do the beatles have so many solo stans this site is so weird

[ectonurites]

ik i've talked about this before but. sometimes i still just try to wrap my head around how my dad could possibly think a logical course of action—after his wife who was trying to divorce him and his 15 year old child called 911 because of his abusive behavior which led to him getting arrested—would be to get a friend to bail him out of jail and then walk BACK TO THAT VERY HOUSE HE WAS JUST FORCIBLY ESCORTED OUT OF. AT 3 IN THE MORNING.

[welcome-here-in-my-world]

bitches be like "this is my comfort movie <3" and the movie in question is Wakolda

(it's me, I'm bitches)

[priafey]

i had the day off so i spent like five hours doing budgeting. jesus fuck why is everything so expensive

[pagesofkenna]

Ghost Trick experience so far be like-

Chapter 5: I like the Rube Goldberg Murder Machine

Chapter 11: I Do Not Like the Rube Goldberg Murder Machine